Who Should Take the Blame?

Who is truly responsible when a child gets molested by an adult? This is one of the many questions that went through my mind as I read, How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel. It is very easy to put the blame on the child, the molester, or even the parents; but who is really at fault? During our class discussion, they were some that argued that control and manipulation had a lot to do with Lil Bit and Uncle Peck’s affair, but in the “eyes of the law”, an adult is also responsible. It does not matter how mature a child’s body is, whenever an adult advances or has sex with a person under the age of eighteen, he or she is responsible. Throughout this play, there were many individuals that could have taken the blame for Lil Bit and Uncle Peck’s affair. Personally, I think all the adults are at fault in this situation. As a future parent, I do not understand how Lil Bit’s Mother allowed her to think that she was able to handle Uncle Peck. How could a child handle an adult, especially a man? Whenever those suspicions started in Lil Bit’s Mother mind that Uncle Peck was looking at Lil Bit strangely, she should have kept Lil Bit away from him. Lil Bit’s Mother is not the only person responsible in this situation, but Aunt Mary also. As Uncle Peck’s wife, she tries to justify her husband’s behaviors by insisting that it is her niece fault that he pays so much attention to Lil Bit. I do not understand how she allows a child, to be victimized by an adult, just because of her love to her husband. Ultimately, the person who is fully responsible for the situation is Uncle Peck. There are no excuses for his behaviors. As a small child, Uncle Peck makes Lil Bit do things against her will. For instance, when they are alone in the car for the first time, Lil Bit questions and tries to get Uncle Peck to stop feeling on her private parts; but he ignores her and continues to abuse her. As a child, Lil Bit handled the situation correctly. Whenever a person says stop, it means to discontinue any further actions.

In some ways, Lil Bit decision to continue the affair with Uncle Peck could have been influenced by her family’s views on sex and sexuality. It was very strange that the family discussed sex, so openly around one another. The part that really freaked me out was how everyone got their nick names; that really disgust me. As a family, they really needed to clarify and explain what sex really was. The family treated sex as a joke and women as a commodity, which probably allowed Lil Bit to think that she was doing the “right” thing. The thing that amazes me is how everyone ignored all the signs of a pedophile. Some distinct features of a pedophile include someone is closely related to the child, a person that has a strong interest and enjoys doing things with a child, or someone that is insecure or an outcast. Uncle Peck fits all these descriptions. Throughout the play, Uncle Pecks always finds a way to spend time with Lil Bit, instead of anyone taking notice to this situation everyone tries to commend his behavior as being a father figure to her.

As I think back about all the details in the story, I really liked the way Vogel structured the play. The plot was very interesting and it allowed the reader to stay curious throughout the story. The only thing that disturbed me was the minor parts of the abuse. There were several times, when I had to put the book down and pick it back up. In conclusion, the play was very interesting and raised some questions that should make all individuals aware of this problem.